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If You Can't Be Kind, At Least Be Vague

S / Black
$29.99 USD
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If You Can't Be Kind, At Least Be Vague

If You Can't Be Kind, At Least Be Vague

$29.99 USD
Size
ColorBlack

Crafted from premium lightweight 100% ringspun cotton and reinforced with double-stitched hems to ensure our tees stay soft and keep their shape. Peak Dead Reckoning energy for the most practical social advice available. For the ones who have accepted that not everyone is capable of kindness at all times — including themselves — and would simply like to suggest that if honesty is going to be brutal, perhaps it could at least be unclear enough to be deniable. Vague is the floor. It is not a high bar. And yet.

Perfect for the diplomatically exhausted, anyone who has given up on getting kindness from certain quarters and settled for requesting basic ambiguity, and people who consider "at least be vague" the most reasonable possible compromise between honesty and decency.

Part of the Dead Reckoning Collection — Live by the dark. Stay Strange

Size guide

  LENGTH (inches) WIDTH (inches)
S 28 18
M 29 20
L 30 22
XL 31 24
2XL 32 26
3XL 33 28

Styled With

How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt

Look, you found us. You ordered. You waited. The shirt arrived and it's exactly as good as you hoped. Don't blow it now. Here's how to keep it looking like the day it showed up:

Washing:

  • Cold water only — hot water is for overachievers and people who ruin things
  • Turn it inside out before it goes anywhere near that machine — protect the graphic you're going to wear until it physically disintegrates
  • Gentle detergent only — this garment-dyed cotton has a whole vibe, keep it that way
  • No bleach. Ever. We shouldn't have to say this but here we are
  • Skip the fabric softener — it messes with the texture and the texture is the point

Drying:

  • Air dry if you can — more time hanging around means more time for snacks and a longer life for your shirt
  • Tumble dry low if you must — delicate setting, low heat, don't push it
  • Pull it out the second it's dry — wrinkles are optional, character is not

Ironing (if you're that person):

  • Never iron directly on the graphic — turn it inside out or use a pressing cloth unless you want a very expensive iron-shaped mistake on your chest

Treat it right and it'll be the shirt people ask about for years. That's the whole goal.

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