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Spite & Coffee

S
$29.99 USD
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Spite & Coffee

Spite & Coffee

$29.99 USD
Size

Peak Creature Feature appreciation for everyone whose fuel source is exactly what the wide-eyed creature gripping that mug has discovered and there is no alternative energy available. For the chronically ill, the chronically exhausted, the neurodivergent, and everyone who has identified that spite is an underrated and surprisingly renewable resource that pairs exceptionally well with caffeine, the ones who have been counted out enough times to know that proving people wrong is a legitimate and sustainable motivational strategy, and everyone who is upright today primarily because of those two things and is not embarrassed about that in the slightest.

Perfect for anyone whose morning routine is coffee first, spite second, functioning third and only barely, chronic illness warriors who have found that spite outlasts every other energy source, or just being someone who runs on exactly these two things and would like a feral little creature desperately clutching a coffee mug to represent their whole situation.

Part of the Creature Feature Collection - Where the monsters are the good guys.

Stay Strange

Size guide

  LENGTH (inches) WIDTH (inches)
S 28 18
M 29 20
L 30 22
XL 31 24
2XL 32 26
3XL 33 28

Styled With

How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt

Look, you found us. You ordered. You waited. The shirt arrived and it's exactly as good as you hoped. Don't blow it now. Here's how to keep it looking like the day it showed up:

Washing:

  • Cold water only — hot water is for overachievers and people who ruin things
  • Turn it inside out before it goes anywhere near that machine — protect the graphic you're going to wear until it physically disintegrates
  • Gentle detergent only — this garment-dyed cotton has a whole vibe, keep it that way
  • No bleach. Ever. We shouldn't have to say this but here we are
  • Skip the fabric softener — it messes with the texture and the texture is the point

Drying:

  • Air dry if you can — more time hanging around means more time for snacks and a longer life for your shirt
  • Tumble dry low if you must — delicate setting, low heat, don't push it
  • Pull it out the second it's dry — wrinkles are optional, character is not

Ironing (if you're that person):

  • Never iron directly on the graphic — turn it inside out or use a pressing cloth unless you want a very expensive iron-shaped mistake on your chest

Treat it right and it'll be the shirt people ask about for years. That's the whole goal.

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