Product mockup

Go To Church...

S
$29.99 USD
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Product mockup

Go To Church...

$29.99 USD
Size

Peak Doom Bloom energy for the most backhanded act of community service ever printed on a tee. For the ones who have made their afterlife arrangements and are very particular about the guest list. This isn't an insult — it's genuinely protective. Hell is personal space. Please make other plans.

Perfect for the darkly selective, anyone whose social circle is intentionally small and specifically curated, and people who consider "go to church" the most polite possible way to communicate "I don't want you around."

Part of the Doom Bloom Collection — Hell is exclusive. Act accordingly. Stay Strange 

Size guide

  LENGTH (inches) WIDTH (inches)
S 28 18
M 29 20
L 30 22
XL 31 24
2XL 32 26
3XL 33 28

Styled With

How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt

Look, you found us. You ordered. You waited. The shirt arrived and it's exactly as good as you hoped. Don't blow it now. Here's how to keep it looking like the day it showed up:

Washing:

  • Cold water only — hot water is for overachievers and people who ruin things
  • Turn it inside out before it goes anywhere near that machine — protect the graphic you're going to wear until it physically disintegrates
  • Gentle detergent only — this garment-dyed cotton has a whole vibe, keep it that way
  • No bleach. Ever. We shouldn't have to say this but here we are
  • Skip the fabric softener — it messes with the texture and the texture is the point

Drying:

  • Air dry if you can — more time hanging around means more time for snacks and a longer life for your shirt
  • Tumble dry low if you must — delicate setting, low heat, don't push it
  • Pull it out the second it's dry — wrinkles are optional, character is not

Ironing (if you're that person):

  • Never iron directly on the graphic — turn it inside out or use a pressing cloth unless you want a very expensive iron-shaped mistake on your chest

Treat it right and it'll be the shirt people ask about for years. That's the whole goal.

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